To my sweet boy:
Tomorrow mommy goes in for surgery to make sure you stay in her belly for as long as you need to. For a while there, it seemed as though my pregnancy with you would not have the same fate as with your sister. But the doctors aren’t so sure anymore. Mommy’s body is slowly giving out. And it’s time to do everything we can to help it along.
I’ll be honest, this was not how I envisioned my 22 week appointment to go. Every other time, I’ve been prepared for the worst. This time, I totally figured I go in, they’d tell me I was doing great, and then I’d head home.
We waited in that room a little longer than usual, your sister and I. Your poor sister was battling pink eye in both eyes. Something I pray you never have to go through! We had even found time to have a dance party in our room while we waited. It’s our thing.
Then the high-risk doctor came in and said… let’s talk about what’s different today and surgery options. I’ve been making a few phone calls on your behalf.
Say what? My surprise quickly turned to reconciliation. We were doing better this time around. It just wasn’t good enough. Mommy’s doctors said it was time talk about stitching me up. My doctor said he’d rather do this now, rather than wait… go to 24 weeks and 5 days and then find out we should have done something. Especially considering my past history. Best rest is not for mommy, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you don’t have to go to the NICU. You can stay in there as long as you want thankyouverymuch.
So here I am, the night before… watching it rain outside my window, hoping I get a good night’s rest.
I’m nervous. I’m scared. But I believe this is the right thing to do. Being nervous before surgery, is normal. It’s always the fear of the unknown. I’ve certainly had enough surgeries to know that it doesn’t get easier with practice. And this particular surgery is interesting because I’ll be awake the whole time. I’ll know if something starts to go wrong.
I’m crossing my fingers everyone in there tomorrow wants to have a good time, too. Getting stitches isn’t fun… but sometimes people around you in the room can change how you see it. That’s what happened when your sister and I went it. There was understanding, and there was laughter. For that, I’ll forever be grateful.
That’s how mommy deals with stress… through laughter. So I’m telling you now, make mommy laugh, and it’s a lot harder to get in trouble. (That’s the first and last time I’m sharing such secrets!)
I’m also nervous because I have NEVER met the doctor who will be doing the surgery. It’s hard to believe… I feel like we’ve met almost the entire OBGYN department, we’ve been there enough over the last several weeks! Ha! But Dr. Huguelet says this doctor is awesome, and she has never led me astray.
We’ll get through this tomorrow! Mommy’s done this before. Your sister and I did great! And one day soon, you’ll join our dance parties! You’ll make us laugh. And we’ll be so thankful for the help we’ve had along the way.